You need that.
2004- purchase a very old, very heavy, very large floral print couch at the Unitarian Church of Whatever yard sale and chakra balancing event.
2005 - acquire two hunter green corduroy sofas second-hand from my mom's neighbor. Give 700-lb floral sofa to SVdeP
2008-Bridget vomits chocolate milk on one green sofa. Given away for free to insane person with no sense of smell from CL. I laugh for years.
2008- I buy an extremely cheap microfiber couch which is very hard from a hole-in-the-wall furniture store in Ventura that was probably the front for a Russian child bride smuggling outfit
2010-Microfiber sofa, having never been liked, takes a sparkle nailpolish spill